Even then, it’s still possible for hackers to access your content via malware disguised as online links and email attachments, so make sure to brush up on tips for avoiding that. Other simple safeguarding steps like changing the default usernames and passwords on your router and using the most recent and updated versions of apps, browsers, operating systems, and other software can make a difference.
Finally, if you’re not totally sure you can trust the person you’re sharing content with but still want to do it, Bowden notes that you can watermark intimate images with the name of the recipient. “It holds the recipient responsible for the privacy and safety of the image,” she says.
4. Art direct your experience.
A $ 15 desk lamp pointed from behind the camera often acts as my spotlight. I also stack my computer on an old hamper to achieve the views I want for a video. Use props and makeshift scaffolding at your discretion to play with angles and scenes that make you feel proud, sexy, and powerful—or stick with simpler framing to create a more natural interaction. Wear what makes you feel confident, whether it’s a baggy tee, lingerie, or nothing at all. Personally, clothes don’t really affect my perception of myself. Instead, I feel good when I lock eyes with the camera, bite my lip, and get flirty. Trying different positions on camera introduced me to new sides of myself, and now I feel more confident in person too. You and your partner can even swap control over how the other displays themselves as long as everyone consents.
From a safety perspective, make sure there’s nothing in the background that could give away your location, like a street sign you can see through a window. Even if you totally trust the person you’re sending this content to, knowing your photos or videos don’t include hints about where you are can give you some peace of mind if someone did manage to hack your content. One easy way to do this is to opt for lighting that showcases what you want to focus on and let the rest fade into darkness.
5. Start slowly, and check in with each other frequently.
It’s okay if you don’t want to bare it all or try something kinky on camera. Remember to continue talking about your needs as a couple (or group), note how your interests shift, and adapt accordingly. Over time, you might want to dive in deeper or need to take a break from these kinds of interactions. Comfort levels change, and that’s perfectly fine.
6. Use your words.
Tell your partner what you miss or crave and what you hope you’ll do together when you’re able to see each other in person. Are you missing their scent? The look on their face during an orgasm? The warmth of their touch or kisses? Using your own authentic voice to describe your desires will feel more familiar and natural than trying too hard to come up with sexy language that just isn’t yours.
7. Play with toys.
There really is something for everyone. Vibrators, dildos, ticklers, and other toys abound. Or you could try household staples like ice cubes, a wooden spoon, candle wax, fruit, and more. (Just make sure you’re careful about what you’re putting inside your body and avoid things that could cause irritation or injury, like certain foods.) Something extra special during quarantine could include splurging on a couples sex toy that allows partners to control each other’s pleasure with an app or remote. Whether you show each other your experiences on camera, share them on a phone call, or even keep them to yourself, these playful objects can make your self-exploration more enjoyable.
8. Be yourself.
I truly believe that affirmation and authenticity are the most important aspects of these vulnerable experiences. Encourage your partner to do what feels genuine, too, and it’s okay if your interests don’t align all the time. Remember to have fun, and most of all, don’t put too much pressure on yourself. We’re all dealing with enough of that already.