You don’t need champagne or satin sheets in order to have a great sex life, but you do need to watch out for these common sex saboteurs.
Thinking you need to do it like they do on ‘Game Of Thrones’
Movie sex, like pretty much everything in the movies, is a concoction of fantasy and special effects only loosely tied to reality, yet many people feel that they must be able to have sex “like in the movies,” says Alex Chinks, PsyD, licensed clinical psychologist and clinical sexologist. If you can’t, say, maintain an erection for an hour or achieve a vaginal orgasm it can wreak havoc on your self-esteem and actually make sex harder, she says. “Keep expectations realistic and be open to changing the ‘script,’” Dr. Chinks says. “It’s important to realize that great sex is usually achieved through the simplest acts, and a meaningful connection to one’s partner.” Try these 48 simple ways to improve your sex life.
Being too embarrassed to talk about sex
File this under funny but true: People are often more comfortable having sex than talking about it, Chinks says. “So many couples are plagued by shame over their sexual preferences and needs, and not feeling as though they can ‘speak up’ to their partners,” she says. “Without good communication, couples often find themselves having sex that feels scripted or repetitive and unsatisfying.” Or not having sex at all. And that would be bad. Because in addition to building intimacy, sex confers a lot of health benefits and even increases longevity. On the flip side, here are 9 things that happen to your body when you stop having sex.
Taking your socks off
Contrary to that image in your mind, socks may actually be the sexiest article of clothing, as wearing them can increase your chance of having an orgasm, according to research done by The University of Groningen. No one is sure exactly why this works but one theory is that in order to orgasm, you need to be totally relaxed and anxiety-free, and cold feet can interfere with the ability to really get into sex, especially for women, says Fran Walfish, PhD, a psychotherapist and author. “Though we usually recommend knocking her socks off, leave them on this time,” she adds.