Relationship

10 Things You Need to Stop Saying to the People in Your Life

If you want to keep your personal and professional relationships happy and healthy, never utter these words.

What not to say to your boss

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Don’t count on that raise or promotion if you start saying things like “that’s not in my job description.” Negativity gets you nowhere fast in your career. A task that is outside of your realm of daily duties could be a valuable opportunity to show your boss some versatility in your skills. It could even mean that your boss believes in you enough to take on a new challenge, which is the greatest form of flattery. Even saying things like, “no, I don’t have time to,” can reflect poorly on your work ethic. If you’re afraid of spreading yourself too thin, ask your boss to help you find ways to manage your time more wisely. The simple step of taking initiative to make things work shows your boss that you’re a team player with a “can-do” attitude. It’s not the only thing you should never say to your boss.

What not to say to your in-laws

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You’ve most likely heard of the phrase “mother knows best,” which is why it’s best to steer clear of blurting out things like “your child likes it done this way,” to your in-laws. “Parent and child have the ultimate bond,” says Francesca Di Meglio, the former Newlyweds Expert for about.com and writer of the Italian Mamma blog. “Trying to one-up Mom or prove that your relationship with her child is better than the one she has will only hurt feelings and reap resentment.”

What not to say to your child

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The parenting rule you should always abide by is to never compare your child to another child. Telling your child things like, “why can’t you be more like your sister?” will just make them feel inadequate and lower their self-esteem. Comparisons don’t do any good for anyone no matter their age. Then again, you don’t want to coddle your child either by saying, “let me help,” every time they have a problem they can’t solve. “If you jump in too soon, that can undermine your child’s independence because he’ll always be looking to others for answers,” says Myrna Shure, PhD, professor emeritus of psychology at Drexel University in Philadelphia told Parents.com. She recommends asking questions to help your child find solutions for themselves and hone their independence. For example, questions like, “Do you think the big piece or the little should go at the bottom?” are a good place to start along with these  compliments that you need to stop giving to your kids.

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